Dad Proverbs

“The path to greatness is lonely.” This was something my Dad said a lot when I was younger. He didn’t mean that I had to be alone to be successful. He meant that people won’t share the same vision or work ethic as me. They won’t value the same things as me. He meant that there will be times that I’ll have to venture off on my own. I’ll have to make choices that scare me. I’ll have to separate myself from the rest in order to remain focused. That there will come a time that I'll outgrow the people and environment around me. He couldn’t have been more right.

I left on my own for the first time when I was 17 years old. I moved to North Dakota on a wrestling scholarship. It wasn’t the ideal destination to begin with and it definitely delivered. That year North Dakota had the worst rain, blizzard and flooding in over 20 years. It was much different from the paradise I grew up in and it was a huge culture shock for this Hawaiian. At the time I had Olympic dreams so it was where I needed to be. I became an all-american my first year but as fate would have it, ‘life happened’ and I’d end up back home the following year. 

A few months after arriving home my Dad sat me down and asked what my plans were. By the end of the conversation he had gotten me a job working construction with him and we made a 10 year timeline for MMA. He said that if I was not going back to wrestle I needed to have a plan. I had my first fight 3 months later. 

At 23 I left for a month-long trip to train in Las Vegas. When it was time to go back to Hawai’i I knew that I couldn’t do it. I would be doing myself a disservice if I did. I didn’t have anything better at home so I decided to stay. I sold my car, packed my things into two boxes and returned. I had no job, money, car or plan. Just a heart full of dreams and a burning desire to make them come true. A week after relocating I won my first World Championship. Later that month I was signed to Invicta Fighting Championships.

At 27 my husband and I left the team I was a part of for 4 years. We had just won our first world titles as black belts but knew that we needed a change. We wanted to be around other athletes chasing the same goals we were and led by a coach that could help us get there. This was one of the most difficult times in our lives for reasons that I hope I am bold enough to speak about someday. A lot happened that left us lost and confused. In the end we got exactly what we were looking for and found ourselves in the finals of the Worlds just 2.5 months after leaving.

In 2019 we partnered with Venum to start a project in Sun City. We were ready to have a stable income and start building something that was ours. I was turning 29 and thinking about what comes next. I loved being an athlete but knew that we couldn’t live the way we were forever. We were trading in being full time athletes and it was a huge transition for us. We were trying to compete at the highest level(without enough training partners), build a program as new coaches and make time for everything that came with both. It was a struggle to manage all of it but we figured it out day by day.

In 2021 Venum closed its doors which forced us to open our own gym(ahead of plans) to ensure our students could stay together and continue learning with us. We were in the middle of the pandemic and not sure if it was the right choice. We jumped in feet first regardless. Within 24 hours we had a location secured. 2 weeks later we had the keys to start renovating it and 3 weeks from then we opened the doors to Hybrid Jiujitsu.

I originally began writing this blog with the intention of talking about the importance of being around like minded people on this journey. It’s something I’ve struggled with my whole life. I’ve always felt misunderstood, different than others and even strange at times. I didn’t know people doing what I was trying to do. I was from a small town that most people never leave. But this piece has taken on a direction of its own. While writing about the situations above I realized that this blog is about never giving up on youself. It’s about taking risks. Going left when it’s much easier to go right. Leaving behind what may not serve you anymore. It’s about believing in a dream nobody may see but you AND being rewarded for your unwavering work toward it.

I’ve struggled all week trying to wrap this blog up but I guess what I really want to say is: Why not you? I feel like people believe that greatness is reserved for a special group kind of person but I don’t believe that’s true. I am an ordinary person who has been able to do some extraordinary things solely because I decided to do it. I have no other secret. I wake up every single day and I make international choices. I have a non negotiable task list that I complete every single day for nearly two decades. There’s no compromise or excuses. Little by little I’ve chipped away at the end goal. Most importantly, I’ve never given up. Even when times got hard I found solutions and stayed the course. And I know what you’re thinking, ‘it’s not that simple.’ I’ve lost count how many times I’ve heard that while trying to encourage others to go after something they want. But it really is that simple.

I grew up in a city where dreams were only for people in movies. We didn’t get to have our own. I didn’t come from a family with money. I didn’t even have natural athleticism to start. I did have a father who dropped me off at school and said, “kulia i ka nu’u,” which translates to “strive for the highest.” This was ingrained in me and I believed from a young age that anything I wanted, I could have no matter my circumstances. The truth is that statistically speaking I shouldn’t be here. I never forget that either. Raquel Pa’aluhi was never supposed to make it this far but I did.

So, I will ask again: Why not you?