It’s Okay…..

I posted a story a about a week ago that said, “I hope I don’t ever make it look easy because it’s not.” I had a few people reach out who said, “you make everything look easy." An I laughed to myself because while I take that as a compliment, it's definitely not the case. I would hate for people to think that I don’t struggle. I’m still navigating so many parts of my life and I fail everyday. 

I am an: athlete, coach, business owner, entrepreneur, manager, wife, homemaker, dog mom. These are all roles that require a lot of my attention. Most days I can get it all done but then there are seasons where the list never gets smaller. There are also many days that I feel like a hamster running on its wheel only I never get off of it.

A couple of weeks ago I had a melt down. That’s hard for me to admit but I’m human and these things happen! For the first time ever, I reached out for help. I was feeling so overwhelmed and beat down by my schedule and everything it was demanding of me. I sat in my closet for an hour unloading, crying, venting. This friend that I called gave me a task list. She told me to write down all the things that I needed to get done. Then, cross off the things that didn’t need immediate attention. Next, delegate things to others who can help me. I had 24 hours to return the list to her and then I had daily check ins for the next week to let her know how things were going. I took some time to breathe and the next day I wrote my list.

I listed everything that needed to be done within the next 4 months. From business to leisure and things I’ve been slacking on doing. I organized the top as things I needed done within the next 2-3 weeks. Then a giant list of miscellaneous things that needed to be done by October/November and things others can help me do.

Now I am a list person but I’d never made a list this big. At first it was intimidating but it felt nice to see everything out in front of me. I got to work on it right away. I asked others for help and delegated certain things to those who were willing to lend a hand. We traveled to California an I chose not to do a single thing off the list while I was there. But once I came back I hit the ground running. What pushed me in that first week was having to report back to her daily. I wanted to give her good feedback so I stayed consistent. But I also practiced other things she said like: thinking before responding(not always rushing to say yes I can or I can do it now), doing things I love and resting if I needed to. This helped me to have a more positive experience going through the list.

The point I’m getting at is that it’s okay to not have it all figured out. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to need people. These are all concepts I’ve always struggled with. I’m 31 and still feel embarassed when I have to ask my husband to open a bottle that I can’t. I’m independent, I’m strong, I can do everything on my own. But that gets old fast. Trying to balance everything and carry the weight of all my responsibilities on my shoulders? I have 20 different hats and only one of me. I can’t physically do it all on my own(in a timely manner).

It’s been three weeks since I made the list an I am more than half way through the entire thing. Most things I’ve done but there’s been a handful that Renato and my friends helped me with. Each time that I cross something off it feels so satisfying. Not only because I’m getting closer to organizing my life but also because I know that I did it with a community behind me! Also, that this whole process is going to help me get closer to the woman I want to be. A happier, healthier, well rested and less stressed, woman.

I’M BACK!

If you asked me what I wanted to be when I was in high school I would have told you I wanted to be a writer. I wrote for both my high school and college newspaper. I wrote for an MMA magazine very briefly. I’ve written a 100 page memoir while in college. I spent over 5 years keeping a personal blog in my early twenties and I’ve filled up so many journals in my life time. But over the last six years I’ve fallen off the band wagon with writing.. All of that is about to change.

WELCOME TO MY BLOG!

I’m so happy to be here an I’m excited for you all to be here too. I plan to write freely and intuitively with no filter. I want you all to get to know the real Raquel!