Lost In Pages
I’ve started reading again and it’s been kind of nice to get lost in a book. Last week I found myself up until 2 am on multiple occasions not able to put the book down. Needless to say, I’ve finished two books in four days(one in less than twenty four hours). I felt silly for a long time because I’d buy self help or motivational books that didn’t interest me. I’d try hard to finish them but eventually they just became decoration for my plant shelves. These are just not the kind of books I enjoy.
As many of you may know by now, I enjoy writing. English was always my best subject(which is ironic because I can’t even speak it properly) and for most of my elementary and high school years I thought I would be a writer of some sort. While I was in college my assigned freshmen counselor would make me read my entries out loud because he liked them best. He eventually invited me to work as his assistant a part of the work study programs and convinced me to take his ‘writing of memoirs’ course. I had no idea that 390 meant it was a graduate course so when I showed up and there was only nine students in the class, seven of them juniors and seniors, I was immediately intimidated.
When I was offered a better scholarship to wrestle at another school the following year, I had to break the news to him and he was trying everything in his power to keep me there. “Raquel, you have a gift. I’ll figure out how we can get journalism as a major here. If I can’t then you can major in English and I promise you, with a reference from me you will get a job anywhere in the world.” He was a tiny little man but he was a little full of himself. Rightfully so. He had worked for the New Yorker for many years and published 12 books(one of which he made us read in his class). He was also very good friends with Robert De Niro and he never let any of us forget it(lol).
Needless to say, I left. The truth was, I hated the wrestling coach and it had nothing to do with the lack of journalism being offered there. I had spent the year working my ass off, winning wrestle offs only to not be given the starting spot anyways because of my “lack of experience” compared to the other girls who spent their entire lives wrestling. I was only in my fourth season as a college freshmen and ended up being one of three girls on the entire team that made All-American at Nationals(which is why I was offered a better scholarship from another school). This was a nice suck it to our head coach. Lack of experience doesn’t mean lack of wanting, lack of heart or lack of being able to do it.
I found myself struggling to write for this blog because it’s been so many years since I’ve actively journaled, wrote for a newspaper/magazine or just blogged in general. I kept a private blog for years. It followed some of the toughest times of my life until that point. It was basically my open journal and I’d share everything going on to a group of select people. My highs, lows, heartbreak’s and more. Then someone who I didn’t want to find the blog did. At the time you couldn’t password protect it because it was a public blog but I just made it impossible to find that one(or so I thought). So I deleted the entire thing without a second thought. Years of my life in words just gone. Sometimes I get upset that I did that for many reasons but mainly because I stopped writing after that.
A student bought me a book for the trip so I thought, maybe I’ll pick up a couple more rather than watching shows on these long flights. I can read to help my writing and do something more educational. So I did just that! I forgot how much I loved to read and how much it helps my writing. Its been nice remembering different ways to express myself and just doing something I’ve always really enjoyed.
So, here’s to ANOTHER goal I PUT BACK on my to do list: Write A Book.
Or two or three or four. It’s always been on the list but got somewhere lost at the end. It may not happen soon but I can definitely see myself retired sitting on my patio writing a book over some coffee in my future.
